Not so long ago I had a chance to go to a town thirty kilometers from ours. The guys there were sincere, we sat up first in their cafe, then continued at their house, the meeting turned out well, but no matter how good it was, it was also an honor to know, to return home. They took me to the track, and left me there as an adult, alone.
I often happened to be in this town, but I always got on the return bus at the final stop, and here I had a chance to stand in the piercing autumn cold with my hand up and slow down all passing cars, it was so cold that I already agreed to both a taxi and a ride.
My first bus flew by without even thinking of stopping, which sharply raised my already spoiled mood, the cars rushed by at great speed, it already began to seem to me that I would die on this highway, lonely, useless and terribly stiff. god seemed to have heard my prayers, and soon my bus stopped next to me, though it was filled to the brim with people. Squeezing my way through the front doors with grief, I poked money at the driver, and I myself began to squeeze forward, it was still uncomfortable to stand on the steps. As we moved forward, I saw an empty seat ahead and was terribly surprised. Of course! There is nowhere to stand on the bus, but here is an empty seat, and even right in the second row of seats. The place really turned out to be empty, or rather, not quite, a woman's handbag proudly reclined on it, and a girl of eighteen years old sat next to her and enthusiastically wrote something in her smartphone. An elderly woman standing next to me, who probably got on the bus in front of me, tried to sit on an empty seat, but no luck.
- It's busy here!
It became terribly interesting to me for whom this girl had taken a place back in the town, otherwise they would have definitely taken it along the road, since the bus had been driving for about thirty minutes by that time. We can mom, maybe grandma? But something told me that for the sake of relatives, this child of the Internet would not bother herself so much. So we drove for another ten minutes and then at the bus stop another person of the same type squeezed in the door and, furiously earning with her delicate little hands, began to make her way to free space, and the sitting child was already joyfully waving her hand. I was so struck by this situation, insane in its unprecedented impudence, that at first I didn’t even find what to say, but at the very moment when the girl was already lifting her charming ass to sit down, she sharply pulled her towards herself, swept her purse to the floor and proudly sat on empty seat. Both girls froze with their mouths open, but the first quickly came to her senses and again declared:
I told you it's busy!
And then I got really carried away!
- You will borrow at home in the toilet, and not on a public bus, and so you will answer your mommy who raised you like that! It’s necessary to manage it - for forty minutes not to allow anyone to sit on an empty place just for the sake of planting next to them the same impudent young girl! Are you bored of chatting in contacts, you decided to chat with a friend, and let the elderly stand still at this time? You look at the woman next to you, yes, she suits your grandmother, and you got the audacity of a young cow, to tell her that the place is occupied!
I was no longer carried like a child, my voice sounded throughout the bus, I honestly was ready to personally throw this impudent person out of the bus. And what do you think? The girls only lowered their eyes and silently contemplated the floor, and an elderly woman a few centimeters from them stood still, bending down from her bags.
I had to get up myself and offer a place to the old woman, but at first she unlocked, saying that she would stand, she had not far left to go ... I had to demand, almost by force, to take the place assigned to her by age.
Of course, the people immediately supported me, they immediately began to point fingers at the girls, discuss, condemn, but this did not please me in the slightest. Until what time will our age-related modesty, our old upbringing, yield to youth arrogance?!
It's wonderful! For some reason, most people believe that you should definitely not fuck on the bus .. Demagogy! Only irresponsible people think that. A healthy erection on the bus is the path to enlightenment and wisdom.
14/01/03, Elias_All-Known
So what? just wonderful - why even ride the bus if you don’t get up? It is also necessary that they give out a free condom when buying a ticket, otherwise somehow ... you understand ... The only place where you can talk is on the bus, and once you get up, why not continue? On a riser in each bus!!!
19/02/03, Xeroxer
It's just wonderful when you get up on the bus! Especially if there is a girl in front, you can directly feel her ass through jeans!
11/04/03, Lacara
It is at such moments that I thank our Lord from the bottom of my heart for the fact that I am a woman, not a man! A woman has three main virtues - she has cosmetics, she can afford to be weak and her potency is unverifiable. That is, she is always ready, her orgasms are hygienic, and there can be no "external troubles" (hmmm) with the genitals. And a man, who noticed the fair sex in a mini-skirt in the notorious bus, will have to cover himself with a newspaper until he stops (and even after reaching it), blushing and turning pale. in addition to the bus, she can get up when presenting a gift to her grandmother for her anniversary (after all, the grandmother herself should not be the reason, then the story becomes rather dreary), at the blackboard in the lesson and, of course, during a slow dance with a coveted classmate, which is also unpleasant . For her, at least, believe me ...
06/10/03, dude type
what about that? Well, get up and get up. Personally, I don’t care that someone sees, it’s still not enough to hide behind something))). In general, no one looks at anyone, as a rule, everyone thinks about their affairs with concern. I once stood up specifically, but the fly was not fastened, and in shorts in front of this type of fly, he got out all the way out. I did not immediately notice, I look - it seems that no one is staring ... no one even paid attention. In buses, people think more about the safety of their wallets, and not about it, whether they are standing there or not.
06/11/03, DAVIDIAN
And I generally love it when I get up :). And if on the bus, then it's just carbon monoxide. The reaction of the girls to this physiological manifestation of my body is especially pinning. If the girl is in close proximity to the source of fire, then she begins to fidget uneasily with her ass (or other parts of the body, depending on the situation), which only aggravates her already uncomfortable position. If in the distance, then he begins to look away embarrassedly, or, on the contrary, looks with the horror-filled look of a hunted nun. Umor and only.
27/02/04, Jost
Getting up is a natural reaction of the body, given to men from birth, and there is nothing to be embarrassed about! I will list the memorable moments when I got up: 1) In the subway, when I saw two girls kissing =)) 2) When it was the turn to submit documents to the university admissions office! 3) In the church. 4) When a classmate read the SMS and said that she was thrown. Well, it's nothing special, but there's something about it...
04/06/13, Catshredder
Well, in order not to frighten anyone on the bus, it is necessary in advance, while still at home, to place the person rising up parallel to the body. If there is such a predisposition. Then it will be invisible. And extra training will not hurt under any circumstances, even on an airplane, even on a train, even in your own Bentley.
05/07/19, Shiruvuian
An erection on the bus is especially good when you are its driver. Well, have you ever wondered why sometimes buses take so long to stop? ..
Remember the main rule - when leaving the house, be sure to poop, even if you don’t want to, then still go to the toilet on the path to avoid funny things on the road.
Modern man is constantly on the move, we are constantly going somewhere or driving. Usually our travels do not give us any trouble. But what to do if you are already on the way, and you suddenly suddenly or because of your negligence feel like pooping?
And now imagine the situation - you are riding a bus or fixed-route taxi in the morning to work and then your stomach twisted. You must have eaten something the night before. But now is not about that. We have a problem that has swept over us and is about to break out - this is inevitable. The problem needs to be addressed, and urgently. But what about, because you are in public transport where it's full of people. It's just crowded, you stand, people push, which only aggravates the situation. To shit or not to shit – that is the question. We are left with two solutions, although no - three.
Ways to solve problems on the bus
Well, the situation is not the best. But we will give you some actionable tips to help you cope with this situation. You must be ready for anything, and we will help you with this.
Attention!
If you find yourself in this situation, don't panic. From fear, the fight can only intensify and the more nervous you are, the less time you will have. It is important to us. The main thing is to calm down and act coolly.
Way one - ride out the storm
The first way is to wait out the surging asshole. Yes, the wave can recede and you will be able to safely get to the toilet, where you can poop to your heart's content. But on the other hand, the wave can recede, and then surge with double strength at the moment when you were already delighted and began to think that everything was calm. And here it is not. And this time you have much less time to make a decision and take action. Therefore, it is up to you to decide whether to wait or not to wait, to shit or not to shit.
The second way is to look for solutions, get out
The second way is to get out of the bus. Look out the window and study the area, figure out where you can quickly run to take a shit. The bus is in motion, it is full of people, and we are at the very end. Now we need to break through the sleepy and angry crowd to the driver. Collect all the will into a fist, now there will be a crush, which can lead to a premature bowel movement. Keep heading for the driver.
Finally we got to the driver, but he is categorically against stopping the bus wherever you want. Be smart and say that you feel bad. He is also a man and most likely will enter into a position.
Finally you are outside. Yes, no panic. What's next? Where to run? Take a look around. Shops, bushes, garages, shopping centers, residential areas. At least some of the above should surround you. If there is a mall nearby, then quickly head there, there are free toilets. Just in case, stock up on paper, otherwise it may not be in the toilet. As a wiper, any advertising brochures, newspapers, etc., which abound at the entrances to shopping centers, may well fit. Then proceed according to circumstances. detailed instructions in a given locality we will describe in other articles.
Way three - shit on the bus
Yes, yes, right here. After all, this is also a way out, even if not for you, but for your feces, believe me, this option will fit perfectly.
So, getting off the bus is not an option, time is running out in seconds, and you have made the decision to start pooping right in public vehicle which is full of people.
Of course you can shit right in your pants. But keep in mind the following: if you do this, then there will be a terrible stench on the bus and in the end you will be kicked out anyway. In addition, most likely, your feces can fall out through your underpants and fall right down the leg to the floor. For this you will get from the driver. Although he may simply disdain to beat you, which is already good. Let you crap yourself, but you didn’t get the pills. Also, your feces may have enough liquid consistency and run down the leg again to the floor.
So, what do we get if we shit ourselves on the bus right in our pants:
- A bunch of stench, both from you and from the bus passengers.
- Damaged clothes.
But there is another option for defecation in a minibus. He is a little better than the first. If you have a plastic bag with you, you can shit in it. It's better than pants. But be careful. In order to perform this procedure correctly, you will need some free space and a sitting position. You need to act quickly. Put the bag on the floor, sit down and start pooping. Just better at this time for something to hold on to. The bus is in motion after all, and you can lose your balance and plop right into freshly defecated shit. We also recommend that you step on the edges of the bag with one or two feet so that when you turn it does not slip away from you before you commit the act or along with your feces.
This option is still much better than the first, although more difficult. But in both cases, you risk getting a deep moral injury. So it is better not to bring the matter to a critical situation.
At the end of the process, apologize to the audience.
In conclusion, I would like to add a couple of words. Don't forget to go to the toilet before you leave the house, this will help you avoid a lot of trouble. And if, nevertheless, the situation took you by surprise, then do not lose your temper and act according to our instructions.
We wish you not to fall into similar situations. Good luck on the road and with relief!
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