How does a charismatic person behave? Is it possible to develop charisma? Be a great conversationalist

At least once in your life you have met a person who is not particularly beautiful, does not have a round sum in a bank account, and sometimes even untidy dressed, but he knows how to impress, attract the attention of the interlocutor and by no means because of his eccentricity or non-standard thoughts. This is what charisma is - the ability to arouse adoration and trust.

5 steps to gaining charisma

Anyone can be charismatic. Don't know how to do it? Read on for 5 steps to become charismatic.

Step 1. Become confident

Being charismatic does not mean having an inflated self-esteem, but at the same time it will allow you to attract attention to yourself and make others believe in your strength. People always need a leader, and if they see it in you, they will follow you.

What to do to become self-confident?

• Positive attitude. Try to look at life in a positive way, love yourself and your occupation. At the beginning of a conversation, you should not criticize a society, a place, or speak negatively about political figures. Interest others in what you yourself like and you will definitely be drawn to. It would be a mistake to mention negative things. Feeling the negative energy emanating from you, people will take flight.

• Speak words confidently. Don't try to yell, raise your tone, or interrupt someone. Confidence is bringing to the person only important and relevant information, said convincingly. Speech should be clear, it is desirable to slightly increase the tone and rhythm, change the timbre depending on which part of the phrase you want to emphasize. It’s easy to practice correct pronunciation - record your voice on a recorder, and if you begin to believe in yourself, then you speak convincingly.

• Try not to appear confident, but to be. The first thing that is needed here is love for yourself, your appearance and character, occupation. Do not focus on the shortcomings - emphasize only the merits, get rid of the negative. Work on your appearance, because people need to see that you care how your jacket or dress sits on you, whether you are neatly combed or not.

• Focus on inner confidence. Business style of clothing, proper gesture control will help you.

Step 2: Show Charisma Through Body Language

Even if you don’t say anything, when you enter a room, people are already forming an opinion about you based on how you move, how you hold yourself, what kind of gestures you resort to – waving your arms or being afraid to move. Your goal is to make those around you think of you as a confident, passionate person.

How to work on body language and gestures?

• Correct posture. A charismatic person stands proudly straightening his back, his step is confident and shows efficiency. Such people enter the room with their heads up, looking forward, and not at the floor. Active hand gestures testify to openness and readiness for communication.

• Keep your back straight. Nothing makes you believe in the confidence of a person like his good posture. When shaking hands firmly, you need to look into the eyes of the interlocutor. Show your positive attitude to others as much as possible when talking and being around. Try to be as natural as possible. Do not make sudden and cyclic movements (tapping, scratching), showing anxiety or nervousness.

• Control your movements. Are you talking to a person and notice that you keep shaking your leg or drumming your fingers on the table? A person who is carried away by conversation will never do this. Gesture correctly so that the person sitting next to you can see what you are interested in.

• Act out the scenes in front of a mirror. Compose a speech and speak with it in front of a mirror, look at yourself, evaluate the movements of the body, eyes. What impression do you make? A naive liar or a truly charismatic person? Think about whether the interlocutor will understand you, will he catch your mood if he does not see? The mirror is your assistant, practice regularly and try to eliminate mistakes.

• Imitate. A few minutes of communication will allow you to notice how your partner behaves. Try to get closer to him by repeating his gestures. It should be borne in mind that if you come across an emotional interlocutor, then you can accompany the speech with gestures. But if a person is restrained, then you should behave similarly.

• Eye contact. If you started a conversation, then look the person in the eye, do not look at foreign objects. When you become distracted by the phone, look at your watch or look around, then the conversation will quickly end.

• Learn from others' mistakes. Observe other people, correlate their words and gestures, evaluate whether the way and what they say and body movements match? You will notice that some do not know sign language at all, while others, on the contrary, have become very successful in this matter. Often such people are religious leaders, actors, scientists. Try to find good and bad examples of the use of gestures, learn from the mistakes of others and the skill of using body movements.

• Be welcome. A smile will win over the interlocutor to you, show that you are glad to meet or get acquainted.

Step 3. Prove to the person that he is special.

Anyone with whom you speak should feel that he is not an empty place for you, but a person who requires a special approach. With good charisma, you will be able to have a pleasant conversation with different people, regardless of their gender, age or beliefs.

Ways to show the interlocutor that he is unique

• The principle of equality. It doesn't matter who you are talking to, be it a boss, a child, a philanthropist, a passer-by or a girl, you should not put them above yourself or, on the contrary, consider that they are below you. Respect everyone and expect the same from them.

• Be enthusiastic. Let people know that you are interested in their life, but do not impose yourself by constantly asking about business, personal relationships or connections. The person himself must understand that you are not indifferent to his fate or opinion.

• Learn to listen. Show that you are able to listen and hear: nod your head, appropriately insert “understand”, “sympathize”, “good”, etc., touch the person’s shoulder as a sign of support or agreement.

• Targeting. Nothing is more repulsive than being addressed like "man", "woman", or even more so "hey". Memorize the names and use them in conversation, this will ensure that you can remember them the next time you meet.

• Learn to praise. No need to stoop to rude flattery, it is important to be able to make subtle compliments, with simplicity and gratitude to accept them yourself.

• Don't try to force yourself to like, always taking into account what the interlocutor thinks of you. Charismatic people captivate on their own, rather than pleasing everyone and everyone.

Step 4: Be witty

Learn to joke and cheer people up and they will need you.

How to be witty?

• The ability to laugh at yourself. If you can smile when it comes to you, people around you start to think that you are confident. The only subtlety is that you should not make fun of your shortcomings, provoking people to do the same behind your back.

• Adapt your humor to different people. If you are close to a person who is not embarrassed by vulgar jokes, then match him by getting into a society of serious people where they love subtle humor, you need to change your position and choose more suitable funny stories. With an unfamiliar interlocutor without unnecessary need, you should not joke at all.

• Get quality, not quantity. Beware of getting the title of a jester who sprinkles jokes every minute. A witty statement that caused laughter is remembered longer than a series of funny stories throughout the conversation.

• Tease your interlocutor. If you have known a person for a long time, then light teasing will help you to consolidate your position, but you should know the line so as not to accidentally offend, turning a joke into a mockery.

Step 5: Get Interested

Charismatic people are not only able to impress, but also to interest, showing their passion and awareness of how to act correctly in different situations.

Charisma should not be like a mask, but come from within you, be natural. Practice and you will succeed.

Stay honest

Don't flatter or bow down, speak your mind freely without offending others or disgusting yourself.

Learn from actors

Sign up for a course where you will understand that actors and charismatic people often use the same methods to win over an audience.

New role

Take on the role of a leader, communication and leadership skills will only benefit you.

Charisma is the exclusivity, giftedness of a person, special psycho-emotional qualities that allow him to influence other people, be a leader and lead others.

Charismatic leaders change the destinies of peoples and states, determine global events and remain forever in history. Stalin, Hitler, Mussolini, Churchill, Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi and an endless chain of people captured in history - they all knew how to convince millions of people, infect them with their ideas and change the world.

However, not only great leaders and spiritual leaders have charisma. Among ordinary people who have not distinguished themselves by great achievements, there are also strong personalities.

As a rule, they have a greater influence on people than the rest. Their advice is listened to, they are respected and loved. Since all people in general are social beings, and society and place in it is of great importance for human happiness, the owners of charisma can be called lucky.

We figure out how to determine the degree of your charisma.

How to check if you have charisma

There are a lot of tests on the Internet designed to determine whether a person has charisma, but many of them seem to be complete nonsense. Questions like “Do you attract people?” or “Do you think you could be successful in politics?” are based on the self-esteem of a person, and not on an assessment of his emotionality.

We suggest taking the test by Howard Friedman, professor of psychology at the University of California. With its help, you can check the subject for the qualities of a "transmitter" - a person who knows how to broadcast his emotions and moods to other people.

So here is an adaptation of the 16-question test from Howard Friedman's book The Longevity Project: Sensational Discoveries Based on Nearly 100 Years of Research.

Below you will see 16 statements. Evaluate how much what is said in each of them characterizes you, and put from 1 point to 9 points opposite. 1 point - it does not look like you at all, and 9 points - the statement very accurately characterizes you. Write down the answer numbers and then calculate the total score.

1. When I listen to cool music, my body automatically starts to sway to the beat.
2. I always try to dress fashionably.
3. When I laugh, everyone in the neighborhood hears it.
4. I always pay attention to details.
5. When I talk on the phone, I express my feelings loudly and openly.
6. I am always prepared.
7. Friends often tell me about their problems and ask for advice.
8. I use to-do lists.
9. I try to work on something until the result is perfect.
10. People say I would make a good actor.
11. I make plans and follow them.
12. Sometimes I forget to put food back in the fridge.
13. I'm good at solving charades.
14. People usually think that I'm younger than I really am.
15. At parties, I'm always in the thick of people.
16. When I talk with close friends, I often touch them - hug, pat, put my hand on my shoulder or knee.

Calculate your scores for answers 1, 3, 5, 7, 10, 13, 15, 16. These are really important questions - the rest are just supplements to the test to make it harder to consciously select answers.

And now the results.

From 0 to 37 points. 25% of people score in this range. Perhaps you are shy by nature or have become so through a strict upbringing. Or you just do not like to attract attention and prefer to spend time alone.

From 38 to 49 points. Most people fall into this category. You can be successful in communication, but not due to natural charm, but thanks to social skills and intelligence. You can also use non-verbal techniques, but you will have to use them consciously and not instinctively, as more charismatic people do.

From 50 to 60. People with such scores have natural magnetism. You are an extrovert and a natural leader, although there are enemies in your environment as you stand out from the crowd. Sometimes you feel burdened with attention and responsibility for your followers.

From 61 to 72. You are one of the lucky 5% who scored that high. You are one of those people in whose presence the room becomes brighter. You know how to emotionally charge other people and at the same time feel what they experience.

The emotions of people with high scores are transmitted instinctively, even without the help of speech. This confirms the experiment of the same Dr. Friedman.

After creating another test, similar in content to the one above, but consisting of 30 questions, Friedman conducted an experiment on the transmission of emotions by more and less charismatic people.

The scientist selected a few dozen people who scored high on the test, and a few people with the lowest scores. Then he asked all participants to fill out a questionnaire that determined their feelings at the moment: joy, sadness, sadness, anxiety.

Friedman then placed the high-scoring participants in separate rooms and matched up with two low-scoring participants. Participants simply sat together for 2 minutes without talking or even looking at each other.

In just 2 minutes without a word, people with low scores adopted the mood of participants with high scores.

This is high emotional expressiveness, which helps people to infect others with their ideas and moods even without words. However, this is not all that is considered to be signs of charisma. Even if this is one of the strongest components, there are at least five more signs of a charismatic person.

5 signs of charisma

Emotional sensitivity

Charismatic people can not only infect with their emotions, but also subtly feel the initial emotional mood of other people, as well as build interaction based on this mood. They quickly establish emotional contact with people, so that the other person very soon begins to feel like "the only person in the room", and who doesn't like being that?

emotional control

Charismatic people know how to control their emotions. The emotional state becomes their tool, they use it for their own purposes, from which, however, their emotions do not lose their sincerity.

Ability to express your thoughts

Almost all charismatic people are good speakers, so they influence the interlocutors not only with the help of emotions, but also with the help of words.

social sensitivity

Charismatic people subtly feel social interactions, know how to listen and be on the same wavelength with their interlocutors. Therefore, such people are almost always tactful and attentive to their surroundings.

Self-control in communication

This is an important skill of charismatic people, which allows them to maintain composure and grace in dealing with any audience. They can establish emotional contact with any segment of the population.

So, up to this point, we've been talking about people who are naturally charismatic. But what if your charisma scores are at an average or low level? Is it possible to become more charismatic?

We develop charisma

Before you infect with ideas and emotions, you need to catch fire with them yourself

It is impossible to infect other people with something that you yourself are not sure about. Therefore, before infecting others with emotions and instilling self-confidence in them, you need to learn to experience all this yourself.

Stop suppressing your emotions. If something pleases you - laugh heartily, without trying to suppress a giggle, and if it upsets you - do not make an indifferent face, experience the emotion in full.

Of course, not all emotions should be thrown out on interlocutors, this is fraught with eccentricity, and this will not add popularity to you.

All people want to be brave and positive, not to doubt themselves and their abilities. If you experience these emotions and openly radiate positivity and self-confidence, it will be transmitted to those around you.

Proper body language

The position of the body during a conversation, the actions of the hands, facial expressions - all this greatly affects the perception of you by other people. Even if your interlocutor's consciousness does not mark your nervousness and insecurity, the subconscious mind will certainly tell him whether it is worth communicating with you or not.

Fortunately, body language also works in the opposite direction: if you take a more relaxed posture, you begin to feel more relaxed, if you smile, your soul becomes a little brighter.

So watch the position and behavior of your body: do not slouch, even during the most intense conversation, do not fiddle with objects in your hands and do not wrinkle your fingers, try to smile more often and do not take closed poses.

Respect the interlocutor and listen to him

If the transfer of emotional state is not so easy to establish, then learning social sensitivity is much easier. All you need to do is stop thinking that you are the most important person in the world and pay attention to the interlocutor.

Listening to other people is a real art. If you listen to another person and are interested in him, he starts to feel special. I don't think I need to explain how cool it feels.

What do you think, is it possible to develop charisma or is it an innate gift, the absence of which can not be helped?

To achieve success in modern society, it is enough to have composure and be able to communicate with people.

And charisma is aerobatics.

What does it mean to be a charismatic person?

It means being able to find a common language with people, to communicate with them so that they find you an interesting, positive and attractive person.

To be able to influence people so that they accept your views, it is possible in some cases to give instructions, to say how to do it. In critical situations, lead and become a leader and inspire people to take certain actions.

In general, this is the ability to communicate with people at a high level and the ability to influence and convince people.

Charisma itself is a very advanced social communication skill that is not often found.

There are people who are capable of this from birth, gifted. But there are such people in any industry, in any business.

In general, this behavior can be learned. We do not learn many abilities and therefore they do not manifest themselves in our life, yet we may form prejudices about them.

Behaving charismatically is not taught anywhere, neither at school nor at institutes. They also do not teach how to communicate effectively with people, how to get out of difficult situations, how to have difficult conversations or how to prevent some critical situations and disputes, how to handle disagreement and objections of various groups of people.

The art of communication is taught only in specialized educational institutions. And in life, many people simply do not know how to communicate with other people. They give vent to emotions, their behavior is misinterpreted by other people.

This affects if you are going to meet someone or establish business connections or get a job, in which case you can screw up or not inspire much trust at all.

A clearly charismatic person inspires more confidence and confidence that he is a reliable person and people also begin to like him.

He influences them, giving them the right signals, he knows how to communicate at a higher level than other people.

Learning charisma means changing your life.

But for this you need to go through the path of changing yourself. I have developed a special course that you can read about

Also in the second part of this article, I will talk about what you can do to learn how to be a more charismatic person.

What you need to do to become a charismatic person.

It all comes down to how people perceive you.

Let's take a person who doubts himself, his body language also changes, if he feels insecure inside himself, his voice changes, his look too. The body language also matches this, he droops his shoulders, walks unsteadily. Everything he does and how he speaks betrays in him an insecure person.

He can prepare a good speech in advance and go to try to get acquainted with a beautiful girl, but he will not succeed.

On the other hand, another person who gives people other signals, who has no doubts, he is confident in himself and acts in a similar way.

He will take the same words, the same text and approach the same girl and he will most likely get to know each other.

Because the main thing is not what he says, but how he speaks, how he looks, what his voice is ... from hundreds of other tiny signals that other people subconsciously notice, an idea of ​​him as a person will be formed.

This system comes from antiquity. People want to know in advance who is in front of them.

If, for example, a dangerous person is in front of them, then people want to determine this before they begin to interact with him. To have time to hide in time or take measures to protect themselves.

The same goes for dangerous people. People want to know who is in front of them, is it a good person or a bad one, is this a person who should be trusted or not, is he worthy of respect or not, do they like him or not, is he worth following or not.

People perceive certain signals and draw conclusions. The process takes place unconsciously, in the depths of the subconscious, only part of the information is available to our consciousness.

So essentially being charismatic means giving people the right signals.

These signals are difficult to fake, you need to pump up the qualities in yourself thanks to which you can generate them.

You will need to go through a whole journey of changing yourself.

Confidence, for example, cannot be faked, something will give you away anyway.

So the only way is to develop your personality.

Now I will not repeat the same information that I have already written before, it is simply meaningless. You can easily follow the link above and read everything yourself. I will only go on to give some details that may help you.

positive perception.

People lack joy and positive emotions. Many suffer from bad habits or make purchases that they do not need just to fill an internal reticence.

Therefore, one of the qualities necessary to influence people is the positivity of emotions and the ability to give them joy. We are unconsciously filled with negativity, we need to learn to perceive life in the best possible way, to drive away negative thoughts from ourselves.

Many in the conversation begin to complain, talk about their problems and troubles, like everything is tired ... well, stuff like that.

Other people are not attracted to people who have similar problems, but a person with a positive mindset after communicating with whom positive emotions arise in the soul. Quite another matter. It's nice to talk to such people.

Learn to listen.

If you learn to understand people, you can easily learn to manage them.

This is a simple axiom, but a very working one. You can read a bunch of different literature or articles. . But that's how you learn to work with people. Let people have their say, listen to them, and you can find leverage.

Proper eye contact is also important.

In general, there are a lot of nuances and details; in order to learn, you need to perceive useful information in the form of a training program.

Then work on yourself and start putting your knowledge into practice, getting feedback and improving.

Thus, in a few months you can pump up to a charismatic person. At the same time, of course, you should, in principle, be pleasant in communication, not embittered at people, have an adequate appearance, while you don’t need special beauty at all, be able to dress decently, that is, in tatters it’s impossible to impress, while your social status, level income are of secondary importance.

Such a base of knowledge and skills helps in getting a job, developing business connections and seducing women.

If interested, then sign up for.

All the best, come back again!

Each of us has a familiar person who instantly attracts attention. Such people have charisma, which is difficult to resist. Fortunately, this quality can be developed in yourself. To begin with, it is worth working on self-confidence and learning how to express your respect for others, and then you should develop the skills of verbal and non-verbal communication.

Steps

How to build self-confidence

Think about what you like about yourself. People will like you faster if they see you the way you see yourself. You may find it difficult to appreciate yourself. In this case, you should remember your strengths, your skills and what makes you special. If you remember your positive traits more often, it will be easier for you to deal with doubts.

• Make a list of your positive qualities, skills and accomplishments. Ask loved ones to tell you what they like about you.
• Experiment with the external features that you like about yourself. For example, if you want to draw attention to your eyes, learn how to draw elegant arrows, and if you are proud of your legs, dress so that your legs are visible.

1. Learn think positively . A positive attitude draws people in and makes them want to spend more time with a positive person. Be an optimist, try to see the good in every situation and cheer others up. Treat problems and obstacles as opportunities rather than insurmountable difficulties. Here are some tips to help you stay positive:

   • Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. If you find yourself thinking that you will inevitably fail, respond with a positive affirmation. For example: "This is an opportunity for growth and development."
   • Surround yourself with positive people. This will help you stay positive.
   • Laugh to cheer yourself up. Watch a comedy, make a joke, or share a funny story with people. Daily laughter will help you have a positive attitude towards life.
   • Make a list of things you are grateful for.
   • Work on what you are not happy with. If you feel like blaming yourself for something, remind yourself of your progress.

2. Dress to impress people. Your clothes say a lot about how you feel about yourself and how people should perceive you. Clothing is also a reflection of how you feel at the moment. Choose clothes that make you feel great. This will communicate to others what you want to convey to people.

   • Wear clothes that fit you well. Choose attractive colors and patterns.
   • Don't wear things just because they are considered fashionable. If you don't like a thing, you won't feel comfortable in it, and it will be noticeable from the outside.

3. If you need to feel confident in your abilities, remember some of your achievements. When a person thinks about their achievements, the brain releases oxytocin, a substance that helps a person feel satisfied with himself. If you lack self-confidence, increasing your oxytocin levels will help you feel more confident for a while. If you have some important event coming up, remember what you have achieved in the past.

   • For example, you can keep photos that remind you of three great achievements in a special folder on your phone. Review them before you go to any event or important meeting.

4. Sign up for free improvisation classes. Improvisation will teach you how to speak in front of people and how to think quickly. Improvisation classes will help you get out of your comfort zone in a circle of like-minded people. Besides, you will surely have a good time.

   • Look for courses online or on social media.

How to express your interest and respect for others

1. Do not use electronic devices while talking to people. If you are busy with an electronic device while talking to others, people will feel less important. Put your phone on silent and put it in your pocket or bag. Do not play games on smart watches or other devices. Give your full attention to the people you interact with.

   • Take time to check for new messages on your phone. Apologize from time to time, go to the restroom and read the messages.

2. Attentively listen when people talk about themselves. Focus on what the person is saying, not on your response. Nod, comment on what has been said (“yeah”, “interesting”, “wow”) to show your interest.

   • Ask people questions that require a detailed answer so that the conversation does not stop. Listen to the answers with sincere interest.
   • Try to paraphrase what the person said to let them know what you were listening to.

3. Make people sincere compliments . Tell them what you like and appreciate about them. This will lift their spirits. To make the compliment more meaningful, be specific. For example, instead of the neutral “good presentation,” say: “You were very good at articulating your thoughts during your presentation today.”

   • If you compliment a person's appearance, he will be pleased. You may even like the person even more. However, this is not appropriate in every situation, especially at work.
   • Praise work, accomplishments, and skills. It will motivate and inspire people.

4. Remember people's names. When meeting people, repeat their names out loud to make it easier for you to remember them. Address the person by name when you want to speak to them. If the person sees that you remember the name, they will feel special and interested in you.

   • To make the name stick in your memory, repeat it several times during a conversation with a person.

5. Manifest empathy in relation to others. Think about what other people's motives might be. Try to see the situation from their point of view. Put yourself in the other person's shoes to understand how they feel. Let people know that you understand their feelings. Acknowledge their feelings and listen to their words.

   • Ask the person how they feel and listen carefully to the answer.
   • Don't judge people for acting differently than you would in a similar situation. All people have their own experience, which affects the formation of character.
   • Tell people that you have felt the same as them in the past.

6. Talk about your challenges and how you overcame them. Inspire others with stories from your life. This will make you seem like a mature person with your accomplishments, but people will also see that you have worked hard to get where you are now.

How to communicate with people

1. Learn to keep up empty conversations. This is difficult for many, and this is normal, but charismatic people can talk to everyone. Make a list of topics for such conversations. Practice talking about these topics on camera or in front of a mirror to hone your communication skills.

   • For example, you can talk about the weather, your city, sports, favorite music, holidays or seasons.

2. Joking to get closer to other people. You can tell jokes, funny stories, or make fun of yourself. This will make people feel more comfortable around you and want to spend more time with you.

   • But don't overdo it. Use jokes at the right time in a conversation or presentation.
   • For example, you can start your presentation with a joke or tell a funny story at a party.

3. Don't hesitate to tell stories. This skill attracts people and makes a person more interesting in the eyes of others. Tell stories about yourself. Share your experience. Use special intonations, bright gestures and lively facial expressions to make others interested in listening to you.

   • Acting classes will help you develop this skill. Actors and charismatic people use the same techniques to keep the attention of the audience and awaken their emotions. In the courses you will learn how to use different intonations, shades of voice, gestures and facial expressions.

4. Be firm in your convictions. People are repelled by uncertainty, so you should clearly define your position. Believe in the correctness of your choice and your words. Tell others that you know the answer, even if you are not completely sure. If over time you realize that you were wrong, you can reevaluate the situation and make a different choice.

   • Even if you're not sure, you will seem like a charismatic person to people if you act like you're convinced that you made the right choice. Make decisions based on the information you have now. If you decide later that you were wrong, you can change your mind.
   • For example, say "I believe in this plan" instead of "This plan might work." The first phrase shows that you are confident in your idea, and the second - that you do not fully believe in success.

5. Treat what you are talking about with great enthusiasm. We are all attracted to people who are passionate about something. Don't talk mindlessly - only tell people what you really believe. Speak passionately and invite people to share your passion.

   • Build your life around the things you are passionate about. So you will be interesting to others as a person. If something doesn't make your heart beat faster, put it aside.

What's happened charisma? It is difficult to give a clear definition of this concept, but we always accurately guess charisma in a person. There is an opinion that you need to be born charismatic, and if this is not given, then, excuse me ... Yes, some people are lucky, they are naturally endowed with the ability to charm people around them without making any special efforts. But there are examples in history when a person literally "made himself", turning from a "gray mouse" into a bright and extraordinary personality. Is it possible to achieve a certain level of charisma by working on yourself and improving some of your qualities? Is it possible for an ordinary person to suddenly become charming and attractive in the eyes of others?

What is he - charismatic person? You must have come across this one. He knows how to present himself, is always sparkling in his statements, is educated, inspires confidence and a feeling of a reliable person. I want to listen to him, I want to follow him, I want to win his attention and sympathy. If this is a man, then he is necessarily with a good sense of humor, and slightly overestimated (in a good way) self-esteem. If a woman - she has a smile, optimism, and sincere attention to the interlocutor. The qualities inherent in a charismatic personality can be listed for a long time. And it is not necessary that your familiar charming colleague has all these qualities. It may even have visible flaws. For example, he may have an awkward figure and an ordinary appearance, but when you communicate with him, you forget about everything in the world.

Charisma is not just a set of a specific list of personality traits. It is also a skillful combination of them in one person. All doors are open to charismatic people, they have no problems with the opposite sex, and in general, it is easier for charming people to find contact with the world. Do you want that too? Then you should work a little on your personal characteristics. It is not a fact that you will suddenly radiate powerful charisma, but you will definitely be able to move to a new, better level of communication and life in general.

1. Charisma starts within. No wonder psychologists talk about the need for self-love and inner confidence. Without this, there is no way to become charismatic. Look again at your friend "charm". His whole manner of communicating, dressing, walking, talking radiates one simple phrase: "I'm cool!" Until you cultivate this inner sense of confidence and "coolness" of yourself, all the practical communication skills acquired will be just a fake picture. And falsehood is intuitively recognized by people, and they will quickly call such artificial charisma "show off".

Apply whatever methods, techniques and practices to feel really cool. To do this, sometimes it’s enough to emphasize your strengths well, and unobtrusively hide your flaws. Some shortcomings in general can be corrected forever, turning them into the virtues and qualities of a charismatic person.

2. Fundamentals of self-presentation - the basis of charisma. You have to be something. And not just something, but an interesting versatile personality. It is not necessary to run and study everything in a row, but having a good "suspended tongue" and the absence of unnecessary complexes is a must! Choose for yourself two or three topics that are interesting to you and in which you understand, and learn how to talk about it in the most interesting way. Can't speak well? And it is necessary! Read literature on the art of communication, work with a tutor. Your speech should be correct, melodic enough, and a little (or a lot!) of acting. What kind of boys do girls like? Those who skillfully "hang noodles on their ears"! And which girls impress boys? With whom it is interesting to talk! So, present yourself correctly through the ability to speak interestingly, insert jokes, funny phrases, and “jokes” peculiar only to you.

Precisely for these chips"You will be recognized by communication. Of course, self-presentation is not limited to conversations. Appearance is also important. But not the look that mother nature gave you, but the one that you created for yourself. We are talking about the manner of dressing, always looking fresh, attractive and fashionable. Agree, one can hardly call a charismatic interlocutor a slovenly dressed and bad-smelling person who seems to be telling an interesting story about a trip to the North Pole. But the unusual appearance of Adriano Celentano is his "trick", seasoned from the heart with grooming, eloquence a good dose of real humor ...

3. Smiling blurs boundaries and makes you a charismatic person.. Beautiful speech, literacy, acting, appearance will be destroyed by the inability to joke and laugh. A smile and a good sense of humor opens all doors and erases all boundaries. A joker, a merry fellow and a ringleader are loved in companies, with such an interesting and fun. How to do it, you ask? How to learn to joke? Have you fulfilled the most important condition - rated yourself as a "five"? Then it’s not difficult for you right now to put on a clown nose, buy balloons, go out into the yard, draw “hopscotch”, jump ... Sometimes be a “cool” child with a clear conviction that you are doing everything right, because you are “cool”!

No need to proofread jokes and learn to tell them. Learn to fool around, be funny, childish immediate. Build faces on, have fun from the heart for no reason, make fun of friends, joke about yourself and difficult life situations. With you then it will be easy and pleasant. Everyone loves to laugh, without exception. Become a source of laughter, and you are guaranteed a place in the list of charming people. If you manage to combine the first (speak smartly and artistically) and the second (joke and make people laugh), then consider that you have already completed the plan to achieve charisma by half.

4. Activity and leadership are the basis of charisma. Not all people charismatic, agree. And those who want to get a piece of warmth, fun, and ... a clear direction of action always gather near charming personalities. A leader is needed in every team, someone who thinks for everyone, organizes a joint event for the company, outlines the boundaries of activities, and sets priorities. Such personalities are always noticeable and always in sight. And if they are able to lead people along, then by definition they are charismatic.

If you don't consider yourself a leader, then work over the elimination of their shyness and disorganization. Start with small and simple steps: create an interesting group on social networks, organize a party, offer to arrange birthdays in your team according to an interesting scenario. Yes, it will take time and effort to find scenarios, raise money, purchase products, or organize others with a clear indication of their actions. If you wish, you can develop at least small leadership qualities in yourself, this will come in handy in life. You will be respected, you will be addressed, you will become visible and public. Are you afraid of publicity and are you comfortable staying in the shadows? Then forget about acquiring charisma. Or go back to the first point, and the main condition: You are "cool"!

Truly charismatic people have the most ordinary human qualities: kindness, respect for others, the ability to listen and sympathize, always ready to help. Their eyes glow with love, and their hands are always outstretched towards people. Without such simple human traits, your humor will be sarcasm, self-confidence - narcissism, and for trying to show obsessive leadership you will be called an upstart. Whatever you learn, and whatever skills you acquire, always nurture the Human in you. This is the most correct secret of charisma.