The woman behind the wheel is a stunning woman!
Behind the wheel I feel like a goddess ... I'm driving, and my husband is praying.
Women driving usually do not feel the dimensions of their car until a characteristic sound appears.
Do you want to evoke both feelings in a man at the same time - hatred and delight? - Scribble on the hood of his car "You are the best in c * xe !!!"
Briefly about myself: Year of manufacture 1973. Mileage 38. Light tan color. Height 160cm. Headlights are blue. Documents on hand. Tuning is not present. The body is not broken. The roof is in place. Brakes are ok. All options. I start with a half turn ....
The art of swearing comes along with the ability to drive a car ...
SMS from the wife: "I washed the car!" ... Husband, clutching his head: - Lord, let it be "Y"!
The phrase that is usually said to women who do not go to the green traffic light: - It will not be greener!
A woman driving a car without a driver!
What does the lady behind the wheel do in a moment of danger? She's hiding behind him!
A woman driving is like a star in the sky: you see her, but she does not see you.
If a woman wants to learn how to drive a car, the most important thing is not to stand in her way.
The woman behind the wheel is a creature that gets stuck in a traffic jam that wouldn't be there if she wasn't there.
On the way!!!Be careful!!! if a woman turned on the left turn!!! it does not mean at all that she will go right!!! She can go straight!
Love your neighbor .... Turn off the far one!
— Darling, look, I parked the car not too far from the curb?
- From the right or from the left?
Could you drive slower, everything flashes before my eyes.
- And you do the same as me - close your eyes!
- Hello, dear, I have two news: good and bad ... - Well, start with the good. - Airbag deployed!
SMS: I can't talk. I'm driving…
And I always have only one obstacle on the right - this is my husband in the passenger seat!
The peculiarity of women's eyes is that they are able to see someone else's hair on your raincoat and do not notice a fire hydrant when they park.
The blonde drives into the back of another car. The driver gets out of there and asks: - Have you ever passed a driving test? - Of course, goat! And unlike you many times!!!
Parallel parking is when you park, and you are completely parallel to where the rest will stand.
A woman is like a car, until you insert the key, it will not start. A man is like a helicopter, until you start it, you won’t spin it.
There are many mechanical devices that enhance sexual pleasure, especially in women. The best of them is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL with folding seats.
Have you noticed that when you drive, the one who goes faster than you is a goat, and the one who is slower is an idiot?
If you marry a good man, it doesn't matter what color his Bentley is.
Today, for the first time, I went behind the wheel myself ... Statistics of men who contacted me:
1) female - 15 times; 2) fool - 27 times; 3) ah, woman ... - everyone else is on the road.
A husband teaches his wife how to drive a car: - At a red light - stop, at a green one - you can go. Pay no attention to my frightened face.
If a man opens the car door for his wife, then this is either new car or a new wife.
What lengthens when it is picked up, passed between the breasts and thrust into the hole? Safety belt! Not what you thought!
True love is when a man, sitting in the front passenger seat of his car, instead of the phrase “Brainless chicken! ! WHERE ARE YOU GOING? !!! ! Says with restraint: “My bird! Be careful driving! »
If before the guy new foreign car- real boy, now, girls be careful, these guys have 5 year loans!
Well, I overtook, well, I didn’t turn on the turn, I cut it off, but not to see WHAT I SHOW HIM — that’s impudence!
Crying girl in the parking lot, Sitting in a brand new BMW, All in tears and lipstick Three pedals, and two legs.
Do you have a car? - Eat. - Will you give it to me in the evening? - Dam. Why did you ask about the car?
I'm driving a car and I see - the guy behind the wheel shaves! I almost lost my lipstick in my coffee!
Statuses about cars are becoming more and more popular. A lot of people drive now: both men and women. They all prefer different brands cars, some of them have recently received a license and dream of a car, and someone has been driving for a long time, and has changed a single car. Those who buy a car for the first time brag about it in their statuses. Also, there are a lot of cool statuses about getting a license, because many (especially girls) retake driving exams several times. The common status about blondes behind the wheel is still not outdated.
And there are many more statuses that, unfortunately, rights can be bought, and it costs less than taking exams. In their statuses, users share their experience and knowledge about choosing a car, which brands evoke different associations among people, which colors harmonize with what, and what emotions they evoke. Experienced drivers share their experience of communicating with traffic cops, and here there is a lot funny stories. Beginners wind up all the funny and sad stories so as not to fall for the bait. Statuses about cars reflect a strong love for these creatures, especially among men. And often there is a competition between a car and a girl, whom a man loves more, is still not even known. Owning a car is very important for a man, this is his goal and passion. Choosing the right status about your car is very important so that everyone knows what feelings bind you.
Can send cool statuses about cars to your friends, hinting to them that it's time to change old car to a more modern one, that only grandfathers drive such a wreck. Car brands are now very diverse, and their number is increasing every year, so choosing the right one and your favorite can be difficult if you are doing it for the first time. Moreover, many who have received rights are worried that the first car can be broken at all. Therefore, they try to buy something older and simpler. But those who have already tried themselves as a driver, on the contrary, tend to buy something presentable so that others look at such a car.
Statuses - buying a car
P After buying a car, it is forbidden to smoke in it only for the first six months, then only you can smoke in it, then only not in the back, then in the back, but only ashes on the mat, and only a week before buying a new car you can smoke everywhere.
E If buying a car does not please you at all, then you bought it for your wife, but it is registered on you.
IN Choosing a car (car) is like choosing a wife. You will always be dissatisfied with something, but still it will be your most beloved and yours.
L best car — new car! (Henry Ford)
E If you, leaving your car, did not turn around at least once - you have chosen the wrong car.
R Previously, an expensive car showed how much a person earned, now - how much he owes.
E Just because I bought myself a Land Cruiser doesn't mean I'm rich, maybe I saved up for three months!
P It turned out to be easier to get a license than to choose a car.
T Now I'm not just a hostess! Now I'm not just a wife! After all, I became a little more ... Now I'm AUTO LADY !!!
H Nothing devalues your car like your neighbor's new car.
L I love "ROVER" classics! But I bought "PRIOR" there weren't enough bucks
WITH had a dream: bought a Porsche. Taxi …
H The new Mercedes changes the way it walks.
W why do they indicate "heated seats" in the car's configuration, if it is not the seats that need to be heated, but w0nY ???
TO In such a tone, do not tell your wife that a friend has bought a new car - and a scandal cannot be avoided.
P The first car should be taken Russian. Whip it into the trash out of inexperience, fuck with repairs. Then buy good foreign car and, shedding tears of happiness, feel yourself in spaceship distant future
E then in the first month after buying a car, we run to the window every 30 minutes.
WITH looking at each new model car, you understand that all the previous ones were just a bitter mistake!
TO a BMW key fits every woman's heart!
H e to forget to buy a cloth for the mirror in the color of the pedals.
I decided to buy a car. A friend advised me to buy a Mazda, my father-in-law a Zhiguli, my wife a Mathis. And I bought myself a MAZ, and I don’t regret it ... I DO NOT REGRET ANYONE!
H Do not worry for the fifth day behind the wheel!
B Cursed be that day when I sat down at the steering wheel of this vacuum cleaner! K-f Caucasian captive
AND Jenna is jealous of my car all the time. And why did my swallow not please her?
P I gave birth to a jeep, bought a KAMAZ and I do not regret it, I do not regret anyone.
T Achka is now somehow boring to buy - now everyone has it.
Here is a helicopter I would buy
A car - a means of transportation for finding spare parts for it.
H German car — bought, used, inherited.
American car - bought, used, sold.
Japanese car — bought, used, thrown away.
Chinese car — bought, thrown out.
Russian car - bought, repaired, used, repaired, thrown away, picked up, used, inherited.
TO When buying a used car, the main thing is to understand why it is being sold.
P paying back a car is almost as stupid as getting married. The difference is only in the object of adoration.
P used cars are bought by the wrong people cheap car, and those who cheaply need an expensive car.
M Ashin, like women, should be two. One for the soul, the other for work.
T Only we can ride in the old six and discuss the shortcomings of the Lexus.
IN two thousand and eight, knowing the Japanese
I bought it from an auction
Samurai were crying on the shore,
When the ship took away my car!
A I will not tint the windows in my car - I'm beautiful!
P The first car - should be of the Russian auto industry - you don’t feel sorry for it, and spare parts are on every corner.
20 the difference between buying a car and .
1. there are no performance characteristics for wives
2. You can't bargain with an agent about wives
3. Wife can't choose outer and inner colors separately
4. no wives various options one model (basic, luxury, etc.)
5. almost all wives have the same number of cylinders
6. wife's patency is not reflected in the declaration
7. not every wife will agree to a test drive
8. Wives don't have dealer installed options
9. if the wife starts to squeak or squeal, you can not change her oil or brake pads
10. you will never know the invoice price
11. the built-in audio system is uncontrollable
12. You can't lease your wife
13. You will not be able to trade-in your old wife when buying a new one.
14. You can’t ask a friend to borrow his wife for a day because hers is leaking oil, and you want to ride
15. getting a second (third, etc.) wife - out of question
16. you can post photos of cars in the office without the risk of being held liable for SH
17. You can't stick a sticker you like on your wife's back
18. no one will blame you for visiting car sites too often
19. You can give the car expensive gifts that will also be fully functional: GPS, phone holder, antiradar, etc.
20. you can shamelessly discuss the advantages and disadvantages of your car with friends or on the web, without fear of hearing "Yes, you're right, your wife is better"
TO upit for two car - it's like a pool of money to marry.
WITH Today, a glamorous kitty entered the car dealership and, with the air of a connoisseur, demanded to show her an SUV with the highest clitoris.
TO When you buy a car, you buy parts in bulk. And then you start buying them at retail.
A A car is a favorite toy of adult men.
T from who purchased old foreign car and repaired it with his own hands - he mastered the art of love with his own brain ...
T only they change the car because the model is outdated.
Only we change the car, because the asphalt is outdated.
A A car is no longer a luxury. Now luxury is its content.
ABOUT when washing the purchase of a car, do not drive, otherwise they will wash you
IN There are two happy moments in the life of every car enthusiast: when he buys a car, and when he sells it.
Well, on the road - an anecdote:
I bought a car, but something does not go, an infection!
- How much did you buy?
- For 10 thousand.
- I bought a refrigerator for the same amount, it also does not go ...
The first car appeared back in 1806, since then mankind cannot imagine its life without cars. Today, a car is not only a means of transportation, but also a way of prosperity. In our selection you will find both deep philosophical sayings about speed and cars, and playful sayings about cars.
In the last century, cars were a sign of wealth and hard work. There was no such choice of brands, and it was not so easy to buy a car. Today, you can choose a car for every taste and color, there would be money. There is even an expression about rich people that they choose cars for their outfits. Whatever the car is, even the most expensive, even the cheapest, you need to learn how to manage it. And you don't have to buy the rights, but to get them!
A car is like a friend that suits its owner in terms of temperament and character, and with a friend, as you know, time passes unnoticed. It is not for nothing that wives are jealous of their husbands for their cars, because they are ready to mess around with their cars for hours.
The stereotype of "carefully, a woman behind the wheel" is gradually dispelled, the ability to drive a car does not depend on gender, hair color and everything else. Today, more and more often you can see a woman driving, the ladies, probably, decided to prove that they can drive no worse than men. When they get a car, they get excited about new tires or full refueling even more than a new bag or lipstick.
There are more Hammers in Moscow than in Baghdad! I have a feeling as if the Americans are having exercises in Moscow.
We also have a lot of Porsches, along the way we also have Germans practicing ...)
Behind the wheel of a car, all women in the eyes of a man are stupid blondes, but he is a real jaguar, for which rules and other road signs are not written.
They laugh at women, but it wouldn’t hurt to retake the rights themselves again ...
Of all the creations of human hands, the car is most similar to a living being.
It’s not for nothing that husbands with them can “cheat” for hours ...)
Yesterday on rear glass machine stuck a second yellow Exclamation point, otherwise it seems to me that the surrounding drivers underestimate the threat!
I needed a badge with a shoe, one would be enough ...)))
Somehow, the phrase of the driving instructor alerted me: “Lord, save me,” when I released the clutch ...
Is she praying for me?
The car broke down and there is no money for beer - here they are men's critical days.
You can’t get by with ordinary Olweiss here ...))
New Lada! Speeds up to 260 km/day!
Yes, my legs wear faster ...))
Finally, I realized what I want a car! COLLECTION COLLECTION!
The main thing is that it be before the checkout ...)))
Moskvich '75 was stolen. The meaning is clear.
Someone wanted to join the Union ...)
Nothing amuses the national pride of a Great Russian like a Lada overtaking a Mercedes.
Nothing so amuses, and never so amuses ...)))
Statuses about speed, cars and girls
Where is the second speed?
- In car!
- More precisely!
- Between the first and third, you idiot!
You yourself are stupid, turn off the back ...)))
There is only one speed limit in Italy and that is maximum speed your car.
But we have not one, but one speed limit - our roads: and I would be glad to drive, so a pit on a pit ...)
Double Threat - A woman who teaches another woman how to drive.
When both are blondes, the threat is doubled)
The woman behind the wheel is a stunning woman!
And the look can amaze, and knock down ...)
Behind the wheel I feel like a goddess ... I'm driving, and my husband is praying.
Soon I will put a hat next to me, let him help ...)
I'm driving a car and I see - the guy behind the wheel shaves! I almost lost my lipstick in my coffee!
Okay, you don’t have time to drink coffee or put on makeup, but why do you dress in the car? Did you run naked before her?))
The green light of the traffic light always lights up after the beep of the car standing behind.
I don’t have time to look when the green lights up there, I haven’t finished painting my eyes yet ...)))
The blonde drives into the back of another car. The driver gets out of there and asks: - Have you ever passed a driving test? - Of course, goat! And unlike you many times!!!
Yes, I myself, in fact, did not pass until I paid ...))
What does the lady behind the wheel do in a moment of danger? She's hiding behind him!
What else needs to be turned?
The only speed limiter in Russia is a car flashing its headlights in the oncoming lane.
Especially when it's a truck...)
Accidents happen because today's drivers drive tomorrow's roads in tomorrow's cars at the day after tomorrow's speed.
And also because they have enough money to buy the rights...)
Quotes with meaning
Not a single pedestrian has yet crushed a car, nevertheless, for some reason, motorists are unhappy.
He sat behind the wheel - the pedestrians are stupid, you go on foot - the drivers are goats, just a constant reincarnation.
A beautiful car will adorn any man; beautiful woman will decorate any car.
Jewelry taken, do not forget the rights!
The heart of the city beats with cars.
And the heart of the village is with bicycles and tractors...
If you are driving in a car and you were hit hard, get out and look: if it hit from behind - to add money, and if from the front - to decrease.
On the road, as in life: either you, or you ...
Don't drive faster than your angel can fly...
Not to rush to go means not to rush to live.
There is no more careful driver than the one who forgot his documents at home.
The main thing is to grab a wallet ...)
Previously, an expensive car showed how much a person earned, now it shows how much they owe.
Well, or how much he stole ...)
I don't know where the LADA I drove comes from. Or who made it. I can only guess that he was very angry about something.
What did the men do to him that he did this to them?
Women driving, standing at the traffic lights for a long time, when the green light is already on, are usually shouted from neighboring cars: “What are we waiting for? It won't get greener!
Behind the wheel on the road, only one normal person is me. And those who are behind the turtles, and in front of the goats!
A woman is like a motor; until you warm it up, it will not start. And a man is more like a fan, while on desired button if you don't press it, it won't spin.
SMS from my autolady wife: “I parked the car in the yard. She's washed." The husband, running down the steps, jumps out into the courtyard and prays to himself, “Lord, if only I were superfluous!” ...
Best Status:
Do you want a man to be confused by conflicting emotions? - write with a nail on windshield his cars "sex with you is unforgettable!!!"
I call my wife, she hangs up. After 5 minutes, an SMS arrives: I'll call you back a little later. I'm driving now...
A woman notices someone else's hair on her husband's jacket, but at close range does not see someone else's hood when parking.
While driving, I have no interference, on the left, and on the right, only the frightened sobs of my husband, who pressed himself into the passenger seat, are distracting ...
The girl is crying in a brand new Ferrari - three pedals in front of her, and only two legs ...
Only cat lovers know what a warm, luxurious fur warmer is. — Suzanne Millen
If you marry a good man, it doesn't matter what color his Bentley is.
A cat with gloves won't catch a mouse. - Benjamin Franklin
A husband teaches his wife how to drive a car: - At a red light - stop, at a green one - you can go. Pay no attention to my frightened face.
Women don't like timid men. Cats don't like wary rats. — Henry Louis Mencken
Someone else's soul - darkness, but a cat's - even more so - A.P. Chekhov
You can't fool a cat with idle talk like a dog, no, sir! Jerome – K. Jerome
A man is much more false than a cat: she arches her back in gratitude for being stroked, and a man in order to be stroked. – M.Safir
Cats by their very existence refute the assertion that everything in the world was created for humans. — Paul Gray
True love is when a man, sitting in the front passenger seat of his car, instead of the phrase “Brainless chicken! ! WHERE ARE YOU GOING? !!! ! Says with restraint: “My bird! Be more careful while driving! »
Cats don't miss out. — Theodore Sturgeon
The woman behind the wheel is a creature that gets stuck in a traffic jam that wouldn't be there if she wasn't there.
The French people are a cat that, even if it happens to fall from the most dangerous height, still never breaks its neck, but each time immediately gets back on its feet. — Heinrich Heine
A woman driving is like a star in the sky: you see her, but she does not see you.
On the way!!!Be careful!!! if a woman turned on the left turn!!! it does not mean at all that she will go right!!! She can go straight!
What does the lady behind the wheel do in a moment of danger? She's hiding behind him!
The cat is a corrected mouse typo. – Hugo
Whoever has a cat may not be afraid of loneliness. - Daniel Defoe
Sometimes you scold a cat, look at her, and there is an unpleasant feeling that she understood everything to the last word. And I remember... - Charlotte Gray
Cats don't ask, they just take whatever they want. - cat Garfield
Today, for the first time, I went behind the wheel myself ... Statistics of calls to me by men: 1) female - 15 times; 2) fool - 27 times; 3) ah, woman ... - everyone else is on the road.
Behind the wheel I feel like a goddess ... I'm driving, and my husband is praying.
I am not overweight, but undersized. - cat Garfield
God created the Cat so that man could have a tiger to pet. - Victor Hugo
A cat and training are not such incompatible concepts. In just a couple of days, a cat can train anyone. — Graham Cooper
Although neutered, he looks like a cat. – Maya Chetvergova
One pain always relieves another. Step on the tail of a cat that has a toothache and it will feel better. – A.P. Chekhov
Love your neighbor .... Turn off the far one!
The art of swearing comes along with the ability to drive a car ...
Briefly about myself: Year of manufacture 1973. Mileage 38. Light tan color. Height 160cm. Headlights are blue. Documents on hand. Tuning is not present. The body is not broken. The roof is in place. Brakes are ok. All options. I start with a half turn ....
The lion opened its mouth, the tamer stuck its head into it, and all the spectators suddenly saw how much a wild animal is smarter and more generous than a man. – B.F. Andreev
Soon only cats will be born. - Ilf and Petrov
There are many mechanical devices that enhance sexual pleasure, especially for women. The best of them - "Mercedes-Benz 380SL" with folding seats.
The cat dreamed of wings: she wanted to taste bats. – Emil Krotky
A cat is a creature that plays with a mouse and imagines that there is a person in front of it. — Leonard Louis Levinson
Parallel parking is when you park, and you are completely parallel to where the rest will stand.
Women, don't be afraid of mice - be afraid of cats! – Joanna Wilinska
There is no more soothing sight than a sleeping cat. — Jane Pauley
Even the smallest of the cats is perfection. — Leonardo da Vinci
If earlier the guy on the new foreign car was a real kid, then now, girls, be careful, these guys have 5 year loans!
If you are going to shoot a sparrow, grab a rifle for a tiger. Remember this before every date. – Yanina Ipohorskaya
The dog, if called, will come running; cat - take note. – Mary Bly
Cats are happy creatures. They don't care at all! — Henry Bates
A man is as cultured as he is able to understand a cat. - Bernard Show
An army of rams led by a lion will always triumph over an army of lions led by a ram. – Napoleon
A bird without wings is like a cat without a mustache. – Sergey Izotov
In battle, do not spare yourself, because until you make your body food for dogs, you will not be able to equate your name with the name of lions. – K. Unsuralmaali
Someone else's soul - darkness, well, a cat's - even more so. – A.P. Chekhov
What lengthens when it is picked up, passed between the breasts and thrust into the hole? Safety belt! Not what you thought!
The cat does not caress us, she caresses us. – Rivarol
Who is a lion is right! – Sergey Izotov
A philosopher is a blind man who searches in a dark room for a black cat that is not there. And the theologian finds this cat. — Lawrence Peter
If a man opens the car door for his wife, then it is either a new car or a new wife.
A man is as cultured as he is able to understand a cat. - Bernard Show
Life plus a cat is an amazing combination, I swear to you! – Rainer Maria Rilke
A woman driving a car without a driver!
Cats see no reason to obey another creature, even a bipedal one. — Sarah Thompson
The woman behind the wheel is a stunning woman!
The best thing about a cat is the love of comfort. — Campton Mackenzie
When a cat wants to catch a mouse, it pretends to be a mouse. - Vasily Osipovich Klyuchevsky
It is easy to gather a herd of sheep, it is difficult to gather a herd of cats. - Sergey Kapitsa
The relationship between a cat and a human is much closer than it can be between two cats. – Professor Paul Leyhausen
Do you have a car? - Eat. - Will you give it to me in the evening? - Dam. Why did you ask about the car?
If a woman wants to learn how to drive a car, the most important thing is not to stand in her way.
The cat is a tiny lion who loves mice, hates dogs and patronizes man. — Oliver Herford
Only cats know how to get food without labor, a home without a lock, and love without worry. — W. L. George
When there is no cat, mice dance. – Baif
At first, the dog does not like the cat, and then he looks for arguments. – Yanina Ipohorskaya
The cat will try to stay on your lap even when you get up from the chair. Until the last minute, she hopes that your conscience will wake up and you will sit back. — Pam Brown
The blonde drives into the back of another car. The driver gets out of there and asks: - Have you ever passed a driving test? - Of course, goat! And unlike you many times!!!
A smart cat does not neglect a stupid mouse. - Anthony Regulsky
To cook hare stew, you must at least have a cat. – Vladimir Mass and Mikhail Chervinsky
Cats do not consider anyone who cannot meow to be eloquent. – Maria von Ebner-Eschenbach
If you have a cat, you are not returning to the house, but to the home. — Pam Brown
Whoever has a cat may not be afraid of loneliness. - Daniel Defoe
If you are fat and clumsy, take graceful poses. This Golden Rule known even to cats. — John Waits
God created the Cat so that man could have a tiger to pet. - Victor Hugo
You can only love a cat on its terms.
Women driving usually do not feel the dimensions of their car until a characteristic sound appears.
Well, I overtook, well, I didn’t turn on the turn, I cut it off, but not to see WHAT I SHOW HIM - that’s impudence!
If the cat failed to catch the mouse, she pretends to chase the leaf. – Charlotte Gray
O wonderful cat, bestowed forever. Inscription on an obelisk in Nebra, Ancient Egypt.
If you have a cat, you are not returning to the house, but to the home. — Pam Brown
Could you drive slower, everything flashes before my eyes. - And you do the same as I did - close your eyes!
People get dogs and cats get people. Apparently, they consider them useful pets. — George Mikish
Cats are not loved only by those who have not yet met their cat. – Deborah A. Edwards
We journalists tell the public where the cat jumped. Further, the public is already engaged in the cat itself. — Arthur Sulzberger
Megalomania is when a mouse imagines itself to be a cat and eats itself. – Mikhail Svetlov
Cats are the gangsters of the animal kingdom - Stephen King
- Hello, dear, I have two news: good and bad ... - Well, start with the good. - Airbag deployed!
I have yet to meet a cat who cares what mice say about him. - Yuzef Bulatovich
The lion is the king of animals, but for a pet it is unlikely to fit. In the same way, love is too strong a feeling to be the basis of a happy marriage. – Robert Louis Stevenson
– Honey, look, I parked the car not too far from the curb? - From the right or from the left?
Evening tea time is the time when every cat reigns in his house and when loneliness reigns in the house where there is no cat. – Ursula Moray Williams
If a person decides to kill a tiger, it is called sport; and if a tiger decides to kill a man, it is called bloodlust. – George Bernard Shaw
A common property for all Cats is to avoid people who love cats, and get caught by those who cannot stand them. — J. Holdman, Private Mandella
When a friendship arises between a dog and a cat, it is nothing but an alliance against the cook. – Stefan Zweig
Hounded and pressed against the wall, the cat turns into a tiger. — Miguel Cervantes
